Everyone Has Their Baggage
by EvanescentBeauty
Summary: Cameron invites House in for a drink one Friday night but the reprocussions are heart breaking.
1. The Beginning

**A/N:** Please don't shoot me. This was actually the first House fan fiction I ever wrote, and I'm finally posting it. Forgive me if it's not that good.

* * *

Allison Cameron gazed longingly through the glass windows of the office where she saw him sitting. There he was. Just sitting there reading papers. She watched him intently as he pulled out a small orange bottle and popped off the lid, rolling out two Vicodin pills and dry swallowing them.

Why did she always feel the need to watch him? Did it give her pleasure? Purpose? Something to yearn after? Certainly not...it was like torture. Day in and day out she'd come in and do what she was meant to do. She would do what he had always instructed her to do.

_"Do your damn job!"_

She vividly remembered how their first "romantic" interaction had gone, if you could even call it that..."charity case", he had called it.

_That's why you're going out with me...I'm twice your age, I'm not great looking, I'm not charming, I'm not even nice...What I am is what you need..._

_...I'm damaged._

He had no idea how she really felt. Everyone thought they knew Allison Cameron so well. The kind, almost maternal type who loved all of her patients like family. Anyone could be her friend. How very wrong they were. But she had finally realized that maybe House wasn't the one for her...she had truly loved him...but maybe she didn't. Whatever the case, she had convinced herself that she shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't love him...and whatever other confusing words she muttered to herself during her long days at work to make her forget about him.

She supposed that she ought to be happy that her feelings for him had left her...but when she started thinking about him in that way, she'd start to _feel _for him in that way.

_You swore you'd never go down that path again..._

Just as these thoughts entered her mind, House swiveled around in his chair. He put his hands on his thighs and pushed himself up, but he was halfway in a standing position when he spotted her through the glass doors. His piercing blue eyes targeted her like search lights, and she saw it click in his head that he figured she had been standing there a while. She gave a small smile that was far from happy, and hurried in the opposite direction, even though she had been going towards the exit. She didn't look back, she just kept hurrying the other way. House would leave for the night...then she would exit herself, and it wouldn't be an issue.

She looked at her watch as she entered the women's restroom. 10:13. She sat down on the chair in the restroom and waited.

She was tired...she longed for a hot meal and the monotonous drone of the television before heading off to a warm bed and a weekend where she wouldn't have to deal with House's mockery and sarcasm towards his patients when _she _was trying to be a good doctor. When _she _was trying to "do her damn job". _But he really isn't so bad_, she thought. _He's a jerk, but he knows what he's doing...he always gets it right._

She looked at her watch again. 10:19.

_Geez...I can barely manage 5 minutes...I guess that proves how exciting the little girls' room really is._

She got up slowly and pushed open the door slightly, peering down the hallway.

_This is ridiculous. _You're _being ridiculous, _she thought to herself scornfully. _Are you scared of him?_

No.

_Then why are you hiding?_

I don't want him to see me.

_That's called being scared._

It's not fear! I just don't have the energy to deal with him right now.

Finally, she pushed herself out. She didn't have to hide. She kept her feet moving swiftly and her head low as she passed House's office again. She didn't dare look through the window...but she sensed that he was no longer there. She looked out the window of the building and saw that snow was falling quietly outside.

_Stupid December snow, _she growled to herself moodily, tightening the folds of her jacket around her body.

As she reached the entrance, she bade the clerks goodnight, and pushed open the door. But with her head still facing the front desk, she bumped right into House. Her surprise choked her momentarily.

"H-House!" she spluttered.

"Cameron," he replied, stepping out of her way.

"What are you doing just standing there in the doorway?" she snapped, trying to act normal. Sniping at House for his obliviousness was normal.

"Making sure that unsuspecting female doctors were paying attention to where they were going," he replied smoothly.

"I could have slammed open that door a lot harder, you know," she grumbled, starting to walk past him.

"But you were _unsuspecting_," repeated House, narrowing his eyes sarcastically. "That's the whole point."

"I could have been unsuspecting and still slammed the door," she pointed out, talking louder as she stepped out from the doorway into the falling snow. "If I'd had a bad day, perhaps..."

"How _I _give you a bad day?" he called back innocently, pulling that smug little grin he did when he was winning an argument.

"You're right," Cameron said, giving him a mock smile. "_My mistake_."

She turned around and peered to the right down the street and called over a taxi. As it pulled up in front of the curb, she opened the door and had one foot inside when House called back to her.

"Hey!"

She looked over at House, who had his hands stuffed casually in his jacket pockets.

"You gonna use those extra seats?" he asked, gesturing to the car with his head. Cameron turned her head to look at the two empty back seats of the cab and looked slowly back.

"Why?" she asked.

"Well, not that _limping _five miles back to my apartment in the snow doesn't sound enticing--"

"Point made. Get in," Cameron cut in tartly. A minute ago, she had been trying to get away from him at all costs...start her House-free weekend early. Taking a cab home with him was not what she'd expected, but her heart leaped at the smile he gave her.

_One 10-minute cab ride home won't hurt, _she thought.

It certainly won't help...

_Shut up._

She sat down and buckled into her seat as House opened the car door and stuck in his head with a smile on his face that was too happy.

"Why, hello, Dr. Cameron! Fancy, seeing you here," he said happily. He sat down in the seat next to her and folded his hands in his lap.

"Oh my gosh, this is going to be _so _much fun!" he said in a high, girly voice, flipping invisible hair. "Let's just stay here and share our _feelings!" _He leaned in close and batted his eyes. Cameron couldn't hold back a smile.

"Shut up, House," she snorted. He pulled back, smiling mischievously, and folded his arms. A few minutes passed before House broke the silence with the question Cameron had been dreading.

"Why were you staring at me?" An awkward silence passed between them. Cameron looked at him.

"What?" she asked innocently.  
"Before...I was sitting there and I was standing up and you were just standing there," he replied.

_Why does he have such a good memory?_

_"_I wasn't staring...I just happened to be passing by your office when you looked up."

"You are a miserable liar, Allison Cameron, and I wasn't born yesterday."

"I just zoned out a little bit, that's all..."

"While staring at me? How convenient..." She threw him a death glare.

"Let it go, House," she growled, turning her head pointedly and staring out the window. She could feel his eyes burning holes through the side of her head, and she saw his eyes narrow in the window's reflection. She turned her head back to face him.

"_What_?" she snapped irritably. There was a moment's silence.

"Everyone has their baggage, Cameron," he said softly. She tried to hide her gulp, and the nervousness in her eyes, but it was no small feat. _Does he know...?_

As they drove up to Cameron's apartment, she gave a sigh of relief. _Finally_, she thought.

"Well, I'll see you on Monday," said House casually. Cameron nodded, and was almost out of the car when she stopped. Was that it? She didn't want to be around him, and the awkward silence in the car had been torturous, but now that she was out, she felt...hospitable. She turned back to House and said, "Hey...do you want to...come in for a...a drink or something?"

House stared at her with a look of shocked surprise that he couldn't hide. But when he spoke, he did so firmly.

"Sure."

_Now you've done it.._

Shut up.

_What are you expecting?_

It's called being friendly.

_It's called being stupid! Wanting what you can't have!_

Shut up!!!

Cameron hurried up the steps to her apartment and unlocked the front door, House behind her. She threw her keys on the counter.

"Make yourself comfortable," she said, gesturing to the couch and walking over to the fridge where she pulled out two beers.

"Bud Light?" she asked coolly, joining House on the couch.

"Cameron has Bud Light?" asked House tauntingly, taking one and twisting off the cap.

"Hey, I didn't used to drink, but that was before I became _your _employee," Cameron retorted.

"Touché," said House, raising his bottle and taking a drink. Cameron raised her eyebrows and lifted the cold drink to her lips. The bitter, golden liquid washed over her tongue soothingly. She set down the bottle with a dull _clunk _on the wooden side table and looked over at House.

"So, tell me," she asked, watching him take another drink. "What does a doctor like Gregory House do on a Friday night?"

"You mean when I'm not chilling with my employees?" he asked, sarcasm dripping from each word, as usual.

"Oh, yes," Cameron assured him, playing along.

"_So_," said House, licking his lips and placing the bottle on the coffee table in front of them and folding his arms. "Your real question is if I have any home dawgs."

Cameron raised an eyebrow.

"That's what cool people say when they mean 'friends'," House explained. "I learned that from Foreman."

"I see," replied Cameron. She wasn't stupid. She knew exactly what he meant, and Foreman probably had never uttered those words in his life. There was a long silence that passed between them as he pondered, but Cameron waited patiently.

"I have Wilson," he said simply.

"Wilson?" she asked skeptically. "Seriously?"

"I have some poker guys I hang out with occasionally, but I don't need many friends," he said. "I have my piano, and these little babies," he said, pulling out his bottle of Vicodin. Cameron gave a small smile. House pulled a sad face.

"And of course," he choked out. "I always have my dignity!"

Cameron chuckled and nestled back down in her pillows.

"What about you?" asked House. "Does Allison Cameron have any _chicas locas?"_

_"Crazy girls_?" scoffed Cameron, translating without hesitation. Two years of high school Spanish hadn't left her completely clueless. "Gimme a break."

"Okay, how bout _normal _friends?"

"I have . . .a couple girl friends," she said, choosing her words carefully and taking a long drink from her bottle.

"Really?"

"Yes," said Cameron. She was relieved when he asked no more questions. She sighed quietly and looked around the room, her eyes finally falling on the blank screen of the television.

"Movie?" she asked.

"Chick flick?"

"Not necessarily..."

"Then I'm in."

Cameron smiled and got up, opening a drawer full of DVD's. Gone with the Wind, Titanic, Charlie's Angels...

_Crap...all chick flicks. I have _got _to go shopping..._

"Alright," she said, turning to House. "You pick, 'cuz I have no idea what you'll like."

"Oh, goody," said House, getting up and limping over to the drawer on his cane. He ran his finger down the line of movies and pulled one out, looking at the cover.

"Memoirs of a Geisha?" he asked scornfully. "Really?"

She snatched the case out of his hand.

"Wilson? _Really_?" She pushed the movie back into his original place and folded her arms. "Choose."

He smiled and continued looking through the movies until finally he stood up.

"Zip, nothing," he said. "All chick flicks." Cameron sighed as House limped over to couch again.

"Okay, well..."

Suddenly, a brown and white blur streaked out from the open door across the hall and write under House's cane, pushing it out from the ground. He stumbled, and he would have fell if Cameron hadn't caught his arms. He got a good hold on his cane again and pushed himself out of her arms and looked back at the object that had tripped him, which was now nestled on the couch.

"For the love of God," cried House, glaring back at Cameron. "You have a _cat_?" Cameron looked over at her cat, who was purring loudly, curled up in a fluffy ball in the warm spot that House had left.

"Yeah, that's Coco," she said, her cheeks burning red with guilt. "I'm _so _sorry...she usually stays in my room..."

"Well," said House, picking up his cane and holding it up. "She better steer clear of me, lest she suffer _death by cane." _Cameron felt like reprimanding him for his cruel comment, but she could hardly blame him. House threw the cat a death glare. "And now I see you've taken my seat, too?"

"N-no, I'll get 'err," said Cameron, hastily pushing the speckled cat off the couch. Coco gave a rebellious yowl before retreating back into her dark bedroom. Cameron quickly turned her attention back to House.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly, throwing a worried glance at his leg. The concern in her voice surprised House. He cleared his throat and patted his pocket.

"Nothing a little Vicodin won't fix..."

"House," she cut in, the worry in her face leaving House feeling generous.

"I'm fine," he said firmly.

"House, she kicked the cane right out from under you--"

"And you caught me!" said House loudly. Cameron looked at him, taken aback at his raised voice.

"I...I guess I-I did..."

She sat back down on the couch, feeling oddly flustered. House, however, stood standing. He looked around the room, and spotting what he was looking for, walked in the opposite direction, towards her counter. Cameron just stood staring blankly at the carpet, but blinked when she heard the soft tune of the radio...

She looked over her shoulder as House walked back over to her, and held out his hand. She looked at it, then back at his face.

"W-what?"

"Well, you have no movies...we've got to do something, haven't we?" he pointed out.

Cameron was so surprised at this gesture...it was so out of character...that she didn't get up until House took her hand in his and lifted her up. She snapped out of her trance, and put her right hand on his shoulder, and House took her other hand in his. Slowly, ever so slowly, she felt her body began to sway in time to the methodical music...the strum of the warm guitar...Acoustic...it was so calming...

_**Well I had a dream**_

_**I stood beneath an orange sky**_

_**Yes I had a dream**_

_**I stood beneath an orange sky**_

_**With my sister standing by**_

_**With my sister standing by**_

_**I said Sister, you know you know**_

_**It's a long road we've been walking on**_

_**Sister you know it is you know it is**_

_**Such a long road we've been walking on**_

Cameron loved this song...she had heard it somewhere before...almost like in a dream, just like the song said. She had an odd sensation...like an egg had been cracked on her head, and a warm feeling was trickling down her back...her fingers prickled pleasantly and her breathing had become long and even. It was a wonderful, relaxing feeling she, somehow, had never felt before. She had danced before, oh yes, she had surely slow danced...with a man that she had been fond of...but it had felt nothing like this. Was it the song? Or was it House? She tried to imagine herself dancing with someone other than House, and realized that it wasn't the music...

_**Here is what I know now**_

_**Goes like this..**_

_**In your love, my salvation lies**_

_**In your love, my salvation lies**_

_**In your love, my salvation lies**_

_**In your love, in your love, in your love**_

She took a long, deep breath, and rested her head on his shoulder...she could feel his heartbeat. The soft _thump...thump _was soothing, and soon she felt her heart pulsing against his jacket in time with his own heartbeat.

_**When I am alone**_

_**When I've thrown off the weight of this crazy stone**_

_**When I've lost all care for the things I own**_

_**That's when I miss you, that's when I miss you, that's when I miss you**_

_**You who are my home**_

_**You who are my home**_

_**And here is what I know now**_

_**Here is what I know now**_

_**Goes like this..**_

_**In your love, my salvation lies**_

_**In your love, my salvation lies**_

_**In your love, my salvation lies**_

_**In your love, my salvation lies**_

Suddenly, she felt House's warm fingers caress her cheek unexpectedly. She looked up at him, and noticed for the first time how incredibly blue his eyes were...a piercing, hypnotic blue. She noticed they were getting slightly bigger, when she realized that he was bringing her face closer to his, coaxing her closer with his finger under her chin.

_**In your love, my salvation lies**_

_**In your love, my salvation lies**_

Before she knew it, she felt his lips against hers, and her insides buzzed. All relaxation disappeared as it clicked in her brain that she was kissing House...Excitement coursed through her veins and her blood bubbled with exhilaration. But then...it really _really _clicked. This was HOUSE. She tore from the embrace and glared at him.

"What are you doing?" she snapped. He looked at her...gave her that odd look that you couldn't tell what he was thinking. Shame? Sadness?

"Cameron," he whispered. "Just let this be what it is." She stared at him sadly.

"We..." but he was already kissing her again.

And then, it was gone. The song was over, and House had released her from his warm embrace. Her eyes were closed, her hormones still whirling. She only opened them when she heard the door open and then close. House was gone. She couldn't let him get away that fast, and she hurried outside into the cold air, where snow was still falling.

"House!" she cried, running after him. He was at the curb, and a taxi was already there. "Wait!" she called. He didn't turn around, just opened the car door and had one foot inside before she grabbed his arm and whipped him back around.

"Where are you going?" she asked, a lump forming in her throat. Did he think he could pull this off? Make her happier then she'd ever felt, then run away? "You...you can't just...just..."

He wrapped a hand around her neck and pulled her back into a kiss that made Cameron dizzy. But she pulled away.

"You think you can just kiss me and that will make it all better?" she whispered. "You can't just...do _that _and then leave!"

House, his fingers still curled around her neck, stroked her face with his thumb, brushing away the single warm tear that trickled down her cheek.

"You look beautiful in the snow," he said, smiling. Cameron couldn't help but smile.

"You bastard."

House gave her a final kiss on the lips before going back into the cab.

"Hey," said Cameron firmly. He looked back up at her. His shockingly blue eyes made her gulp.

"Everyone has their baggage."

House stood there, unmoving for a while, the snow collecting on his shoulders, before he gave a small nod before getting into the cab and driving off.

Cameron sighed and smiled.


	2. What are we going to do?

Cameron opened the door to the hospital and breathed in a breath of fresh air. It was a new day. The snow was starting to melt, the sun was shining (it was oddly warmer today), and she was fully ready to face House.

_Okay, that's a lie, _she admitted to herself. But as she boarded the elevator, she remembered how she had made a promise to herself that she wasn't going to go and hide in the girls' bathroom like yesterday. She would go in, face House with her head held high, and let his reaction play out what they would do the night they had had As she turned the corner, she froze. She hadn't' expected to see him so abruptly. But there he was, standing outside his office having a discussion with Cuddy. They spoke for a few minutes, before she saw Cuddy stalk away and House roll his eyes before he started to limp the other way. She called out to him.

"Hi."

He turned around and he very poorly stifled his eyes widening. He blinked a few times before giving a slight smile.

"Dr. Cameron," he said, nodding.

"Since when have you ever called me Doctor?" queried Cameron.

"I called you Doctor when you were first employed."

"That was before you got comfortable enough to start treating me like dirt like your other ducklings."

House chuckled.

"Alright then."

He turned the other direction and walked into his office. Cameron unclenched.

_Breathe..._

She followed him casually back towards where she saw Chase and Foreman sitting in the lounge, talking. As she entered they looked up

"Hey, Cam, can you make us some coffee?" asked Chase, pointing at the coffee pot.

"Why can't you make it yourself?" she asked testily.

"Because you make it _soo _good," said Foreman unconvincingly, not looking up from the files he was observing.

"Liar," she growled, but she grabbed the coffee pot anyway and filled a new filter with grounds. _Men..._she thought grouchily.

"Alright, so there's a woman in an exam room that I saw a few minutes ago, and--"

"Wait, you mean you're keeping her there? Waiting?" asked Foreman.

"_No_, I'm speaking with her right now!" said House sarcastically. Cameron rolled her eyes, and poured six cups worth of water into the maker.

"She has a stiff neck, a splitting headache, a 101 fever, and...well, to put it delicately, she's spewing for both accuracy and distance."

Chase and Foreman raised their eyebrows. "_That's _putting it delicately?" asked Chase.

"Probably just the flu," said Cameron, not waiting for House's more-than-likely-sadistic response.

"Naturally," said House quietly. "But there's something else."

Cameron, Chase and Foreman looked at House expectantly.

"Oh, you want to hear it!" exclaimed House in dawning comprehension. "Well, she suffered a concussion about a month ago trying to hang Halloween lights."

"Halloween lights?" asked Foreman disbelievingly.

"I didn't say she was _sane_," said House.

"Well, if it was a serious injury, it could be meningitis," suggested Cameron. "An injury like a concussion could allow bacterial meningitis in..."

"It could be encephalitis, too," said Foreman. "It explains the vomiting, the fever, and inflammation of the brain, causing the headaches."

"Also," said Chase. "It could be HIV. Early stages include flu symptoms."

"Oh, you guys are always so negative," sighed House sarcastically. "Exam room A. Get cracking."

"I thought this was _your _patient," pointed out Foreman.

"When have I ever done these things alone?" asked House.

"I'll run the tests," sighed Cameron.

"What about the coffee?" asked House indignantly. Cameron gave him an exasperated look.

"A woman has HIV, and you want _coffee,_" she asked.

"We don't know if she has HIV--"

"I'm a doctor, not your barista," snapped Cameron bitterly. "Make it yourself."

* * *

Cameron entered the lab with a syringe filled with blood, to find House standing there, almost as if he was waiting for her.

"So how's the little ray of healthy sunshine?" he asked, smiling.

"She's had symptoms for two weeks!" she cried, exasperated, not even bothering to tell him that the woman was retching left and right. "She should have come in sooner." There was a few seconds of silence before House spoke again.

"What are we going to do?" he asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" she asked. "I'll run the tests on this, and see if she--"

"That's not what I mean," he cut in. Cameron froze. There it was...what she had been worried about. She looked up. The look in his eyes said everything. She blinked.

"I...I don't know," she said, gulping.

"Was it serious?" he asked.

"Of course!" cried Cameron, placing the syringe on the table to put her full attention on House. "I really...I mean..._you _were the one who left _me_, okay?" she snapped. "I didn't want you to leave, I just--"

She was stopped as House came closer.

"I didn't know if it was what you wanted," he said quietly, leaning on his cane.

"What I _wanted_?!" breathed Cameron. "I'd never been so happy in my life!"

"You pushed me away."

"At first! It was only because...you're House, okay? You're my boss..."

House looked up at her sadly.

"I don't know if it's right," he replied.

"But it _feels _right," whispered Cameron. In a spurt of energy she leaned forward and kissed him tenderly on the lips. He leaned in to embrace the kiss for only a second, before pushing her away.

"No," he said. "It was stupid of me to do that last night...I shouldn't have gotten your hopes up."

"W-what?" she spluttered. "Gotten my hopes up? _Hopes_? I thought you said this was--"

"I'm sorry."

And with that, he turned on his heel and limped out of the lab. She looked after him through the glass wall and saw Chase and Foreman staring at her, their mouths hanging open. Cameron just glared. _Stupid walls, _she grumbled inwardly. _Turns everywhere you go into a goldfish bowl. _She turned away and kept going with the tests, trying to hide her tears.


	3. The End

* * *

_"They saw you and Cameron in the lab today and...well, it left little to the imagination."_

_"The **imagination**?" said House in a deadly whisper. _

_Wilson gulped. That had been quite the wrong thing to say._

_"You don't know what happened, okay?" he snapped. "You won't ever know! It's none of your business! It's not Chase's business or Foreman's business or Cuddy's business! What happened that night was strictly between me and--"_

_"Whoa whoa whoa," cut in Wilson. "There was a **night**?"_

* * *

Cameron sighed as she turned off the ignition of her car, the lights turning off, and the darkness of the garage engulfing her. She rested her head on the wheel of the car and pondered. The day had been so hectic...why was her life suddenly so complicated? Sure, Friday had been wonderful...she and House had finally had a romantic moment, but was it really worth all the drama and awkward questions that came with it? She banged her head on the wheel angrily, so hard that she honked the horn. The annoying, screechy horn jolted her up. She grunted, annoyed, and stepped out of the car, locking it behind her and opening the door into her kitchen.

She hurried to the cupboard where she pulled out a package of Oreo's and a jar of peanut butter. She sighed, twisting the cap off and swabbing a large quantity of peanut butter onto the Oreo. She took a thick bite and chewed slowly...carefully. The clock ticked 7:00. It wasn't long before she had devoured six cookies, and she was feeling sickly full.

_Good, Cameron... Just ruined your dinner...aah, screw dinner._

She consumed a final, seventh cookie before stuffing the jar and package into the cupboard and sitting down on the couch, where her cat jumped up instantaneously. She kneaded her paws painfully in Cameron's stomach before lying down on her chest, her loud, purring face shoved inconveniently in Cameron's face.

"Nice," grunted Cameron, stroking her cat's smooth pelt. Eventually, the rumbling purr of Coco ceased to gentle breathing, but by that time, Cameron was half asleep, listening to the steady drum of the rain outside and the silence of the radiator turning off. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Cameron jumped out of her seat groggily, Coco leaping off with an agitated yowl of irritation. She peered over at the clock, which read 10:53.

_Who the hell is calling at almost 11 o' clock???!!!_

She ran her fingers through her hair half-hazardly and wiped under her eyes to get rid of smeared eyeliner before brushing off her pants and heading for the door. She opened the door, and was shocked to find House standing outside, in the pouring rain, his hands in his pockets. He was breathing out steam in short, shaky breaths.

"House!" cried Cameron. "What are you doing out there?" When he didn't answer, Cameron grabbed his arm and dragged his cold, dripping form through the door and into the warmth of her house.

"You must be freezing!" she cried, taking off his coat.

"It's not cold enough to snow," said House through clenched, chattering teeth. Cameron rolled her eyes.

"What were you doing out there? At 11 at night!?" snapped Cameron. "Let me get you something..." She headed for the kitchen, when House grabbed her arm and pulled her back around.

"Cameron..." he whispered. She looked at him quizzically, then grabbed her arm out of his grasp.

"What are you doing?" she snapped.

"What do you think I'm doing?" he sniped right back. She gaped at him.

"I thought you said it wasn't right," she said quietly. "And you _were _right." She wrenched her arm out of his grip. "Now," she said firmly. "I'm gonna get you some coffee, and then you're going to go home." She turned away from him and hurried over to the coffee maker. She felt awful. How cold could she possibly get? He limped around and leaned his shoulder against the wall.

"I wasn't thinking clearly..." he began.

"No, House. In fact, I think you were thinking clearer then you'd ever had. If it was me, I would have been fully ready to have a relationship with you, but you made me see that it's not right. It's not ethical."

"Ethics?" said House, looking up. "You're thinking about ethics?"

"We work together!" cried Cameron. "You can't possibly expect me to--" but she was stopped as House brought her into a passionate kiss. Any other night, this would have made Cameron very happy, but now it just infuriated her. She pushed him away and took a step back.

"What was that for?" she cried. "Why do you always kiss me every time I try to even so much as _talk _to you?? What did you expect to accomplish by that?! Do you think I'm going to be overcome by the sheer romance of the scene, and have my knees buckle right there?" House looked down at the ground with that same annoying, could-never-tell-what-he-was-thinking look.

"One of us, has _got _to be strong," whispered Cameron desperately.

"Why?" cried House. "You think it's just going to end here? If one of us doesn't quit from the awkward scenes, then it'll just be a torturous, tedious road to another night like this!"

Cameron had to admit he was right, but his words only made her angrier.

"So you think neither of us has a chance?" she snapped. "That we're meant to be together and if we're not, our lives are basically screwed?!"

"I didn't say that--"

"Yes you did!" she cried, almost hysterically. "Don't try and--!" she took a deep breath. "House, please...just leave."

"No," he replied defiantly.

"Get out of my house!" she snapped, louder.

"Make me," he said.

"Oh, please," she said, staring pointedly at his cane. "If I just knock you down you'll roll right out the door." House just rolled his eyes.

"I'm not leaving till we've sorted this out. Till we've talked about it," he said firmly.

"Okay, fine!" said Cameron, throwing her hands up in the air. "You wanna talk?! LET'S TALK! You wanna know how I really feel about you?"

He looked down at the ground.

"I still love you! And I know you still love me!"

An awkward silence met her words when House didn't say anything.

"Okay, that's true," he said quietly. "But why does it have to be this way? Why does it have to be so spiteful...such a torturous thing?"

"It's not..._torturous," _said Cameron quietly. "It's not that it's a bad thing..."

"Then why do you push it away?"

She bit her lip and rubbed her forehead. This was all so confusing. She looked up at him with cold eyes, finally finding her answer.

"Because it is too _damn hard_, Greg!" she practically shouted. "You act now like you want me, and that you can't live without me, but we keep this up and in a month we'll be sick of each other! We're doctors...that's what we're meant to be, and that's what we're there to do. It's too hard to keep up a relationship with someone like y--" she cut herself off at House's narrowed eyes.

"Cut it out, House. Let's face it; you're a doctor, and that's what you're happy doing! You hate your patients, but diagnosing illnesses...receiving the satisfaction of curing someone even though you're a jerk is what you live for! It's not me, House. It's not me." She gave him a sad look. "It's you. You have a very complicated life, and having a woman around would only annoy you."

House chuckled.

"What about Stacy?" he asked.

"What _about _Stacy...?" she asked tentatively.

"If she hadn't mangled my leg, I'd still be with her," he replied.

"Just what I was talking about," she replied defiantly. "She loved you and she did that to help you!"

"It was _my _leg!" he shouted. "I never--"

"She saved your life!"

He shuffled his feet impatiently.

"Who knows what problems we'll face in the future?" asked Cameron somewhat breathlessly. "If we're together, and I'm your medical proxy..."

"Nothing is going to happen to me," said House softly.

"But what if something does happen?!" she cried, feeling tears coming. _God dammit, Allison...you're such a baby._

_"_What happens if I had to make a decision like that? Would you...would you..." he voice cracked, and tears spilled from her eyes. She wiped them away angrily, but her throat ached with unshed tears. She looked up at House, whose own eyes were starting to seem watery.

"What's done is done," he said firmly. "My leg is...my leg is over with. Whatever is going to happen to my leg has already happened."

"Your cane--"

"Tons of veterans are using these babies all the time!" snapped House, lifting up his cane. "What other problems could I have?"

"Your Vicodin?" suggested Cameron, lifting her eyebrows. "You're addicted, you know you are..."

"I'm not addicted," snapped House. "I just happen to keep taking it because my leg is in _constant pain!"_ he shouted. Cameron turned around, her hand covering her mouth as tears poured.

"You don't know what that's like!" he shouted. "The pain is worse than hell!"

"This is what I'm talking about!" cried Cameron. "Therapy...rehab! You'd never go for it, but if I suggested it...if I thought it was good for you--"

"I would do it!"

"Oh, shut up, you idiot! Not a chance!" she said, laughing slightly in spite of herself.

"You're right, that doesn't sound like me," pointed out House. "But Stacy was...Stacy was..."

"Was the same as me," said Cameron. "Only she gave you up to _save _you. She loved you so much that she knew your life was more important than actually having you. And she did what she knew was right."

House closed his eyes.

"If I had to do that..." she continued quietly, tears flowing freely. "I don't think I'd be strong enough."

She saw a tear roll down his cheek.

"I don't ever want to put you in a situation like that," he said, his voice raspy. Cameron took a shaky breath to hold back a hysterical outburst of tears.

"Then...don't," she finally breathed out. House looked up, but he didn't look at her. His eyes were red, and the gray circles under his eyes made him look more exhausted then he'd ever looked.

"This can't just be...it," he whispered. "Give me another chance."

"House..."

"Give me a chance to show you that I can...change."

"You will never change," insisted Cameron. "You know it, I know it, Cuddy and Wilson and Chase and Foreman know it. We've known you too long. You're stubborn, you're rude, you're arrogant, and God forbid, you're always right! No amount of a woman is ever going to change that."

"But..." he whispered.

"It's not that I don't love you House, but I wouldn't make you happy. Whatever we might have together wouldn't last long."

House looked at the ground and sighed.

"Can't you just..."

"No. I'm sorry."

House looked at her sadly. Cameron let the tears flow freely now.

"Will you kiss me one more time?" she asked quietly. He didn't look up. She took his hand in hers, and put her other hand around his waist. She felt his free hand brush back the brown hair at her neck, and his soft lips at hers.

She had never felt so happy in her life...

...but she could never have him.

"Goodnight, House..." she whispered.


	4. Epilogue

**A/N:** I know that this chapter will only depress you guys even more then i already have...I admit, even I was a bit teary, and desperately wanting her to get together with House...but this was a test of my true writing skills. Not everything always goes right. Not everyone always gets together with that perfect other person. And that's what I had to show myself.

Literary discipline.

It sucks.

* * *

_"I love you, Allison..."_

_She moaned softly into his mouth and combed her fingers through his brown hair. She pulled back to look into his beautiful face. His piercing blue eyes showed nothing short of affection and true love. He ran his finger across her cheek, and Cameron felt a damp wetness on her cheek. She felt it, and realized that she was crying. _

_"Why are you crying?" House asked kindly. Cameron inspected the tears on her fingertips but rubbed it away._

_"I don't know..." she replied truthfully. "It's probably because I'm so happy to be with you."_

_House looked up into her eyes with a slightly confused look._

_"But, we're not together," he whispered. Cameron pulled back slightly. _

_"What?" she whispered._

_"We never will," said House. He kissed her hand, before the world around her began to swirl treacherously. She and House grew farther and farther apart until she could barely see him._

_"House!" she screamed. "Greg! I'm sorry! Please...I know what I said...but I wasn't...House!"_

* * *

"Aaah!"

Cameron awoke in her bed, the sheets tangled around her waist and her face and hands dripping with sweat. Tears built up under her closed eyelids spilled onto her face. She rubbed them away quickly. She had these dreams every night for a week since she had decided to leave House. She loved him deeply, but she was not only protecting herself, but him as well.

With that final thought, she hugged her knees to her chest and sobbed. Her shoulders heaved and she fought for oxygen. She told herself to take deep breaths, but nothing was working. And so, she cried. She cried and cried and cried until there were no more tears left to shed. Her eyes were practically swollen shut after she stopped crying, and all energy had been drained from her body. She curled up in a ball on her pillow, feeling oddly cold.

But she could have sworn that she felt House's hand in her hair, and his warm body pressed against her back, comforting and calming her, before she slowly drifted off into sleep.


End file.
